Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Darkness...
I find myself having more and more dark thoughts recently, things like anger, agression, hatred, pain....for some strange reason, i really do want to inflict pain...lots and lots of it to certain people...people who hit me under the belt, people who are so high-handed, people who think that by their positions in life and their "God-given" right, they can come and fuck around with me, mess me around, and leave me hanging high and dry? Fuck you. Someday...someday you'll have to learn to stop being so high handed, such a fucking hardcase. Or im gonna snap. And when i do...i have no idea WHO im going to be after that. And you know what? I dont want that to happen.
What can i say? Im an angry kid. =X
Jerome Yam
18yrs, 10 months, 29days
The unseen, the unknowable, the untouchable...all these stand
at the crossroads in the mind. Keep silent...for these are silence.
JEROME signs off
@7:39 AM.
Moving on...
Hello you, its been a while since i last blogged...dont really have the knack for it i guess...haha. Anyway, my new bike is coming in next monday. Its a black Phantom, paid 3k for it(including insurance) last monday...ahha...and its taking 2 weeks...cos it needed an overhaul. Yup.
I wonder if thats going to affect the re-sale price when i sell it...maybe 10years down the road?
Anyway, i just managed to piss dad off. Again. He was trying to "teach" me how to corner at high speeds, without a bike. Does that make sense at all? Talking about doing a maneuver without the use of any equipments? Trying to teach me something i already know how to do? Just that i dont know how to put it into words. Its frustrating at times...i know i come across as arrogant and stubborn to my parents. But you know? I really DO know how to ride. And im careful when trying things out for the first time. So, im not very likely to screw up and hurt myself just cos im doing something for the first time. I know it. I believe it.
But do you?
You, my own parents, have SUCH little faith in me. I really cant believe this...im no longer a little boy, no longer someone who couldn't tie his own shoelaces. And you know what? You should know by now, i learn physical things fast...not so good with theory, but im excellent at practical. Esp. when it involves the whole body. You 2, of all people should know that well, from all our times spent together.
Ahh well, fuck it. Its not like i really care THAT much what people think about me anyway. Why do you think i have never cared about my appearance that much? Why should other's opinions about me affect my life and how i feel and live it? If you dont like how i look, then dont look at me. Fuck you.
Anyway, its been about 3 weeks since school started...and its already boring...haha. XD.
Lately, i've been thinking...whats going to happen to me in the future? What kind of life will i lead? What kind of work will i do? What kind of work will i do? What kind of woman will i marry? How many kids will i have? etc etc...and you know what? i really dont wanna grow up, leaving my youth behind, taking on responsibility for lives and the people around me...responsibility scares me...and i wonder why?
JEROME signs off
@7:21 AM.
