Friday, June 29, 2007
30 June, 2007
Missing someone
i read this somewhere :
"when you shower,
or you read a book,
or you listen to a song
and you suddenly remember that someone,
then you know that you have forgotten them."
now that i think about it, it seems quite true. except that forgetting someone don't mean that it don't hurt anymore. the pain will always be there after all.
my only consolation is that she dosen't seem to hurt bad anymore.
but i can always hope she still has a place for me in her heart, even if it is a small one.
i want her back, but if i do get her back, so what?
all i will do is bring her more misery.
so why bother? but i cant stop this feeling inside me.
its like something that crawled into me, and now is trying to force its way out.
i wish i had a gun or something that i could turn upon it.
maybe i'm the fool for still feeling this way about her and all,
i mean, its been almost 1 1/2 yrs now. but i still cant quite get rid of how i felt about her, about how i still feel for her.
how do you get rid of thoughts?
if only the mind was like a computer, able to be rigidly controlled.
then there would be so much less misery in the world.
but its an imperfect world we live in after all...
filled with such imperfect people...although some seem like the perfect ones.
should i ever go and look her up again?
i fear she will become a friendly stranger to me if i try to get close to her again.
then i would truly be devastated.
but then my existence now is not really much better.
the misery daily, everyday after endless day till the end of my days.
so readers, you tell me. what should i do?
dammed if i do, dammed if i don't.
"Ah yes, love. That most terrible of bonds. But which is so easily severed."
(Pirates Of The Carribean : At World's End, Capt' Davy Jones. Prior to death)
it would have been alright if i never heard of saw u ever again.
but there always seems to be something to remind me of you.
and those things reopened old wounds.
to have fallen so deeply in love with you, was i the fool or were we the fools?
(Obtained from a friend's blog)
im not supposed to love you.
im not supposed to care.
im not supposed to live my life
wishing you were there. <-------------i like this little bit
im not supposed to wonder
where you are or what you do
im sorry, i cant help myself
cos im in love with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
stupid emo kia. haha....i still think im really just too damm emo sometimes sia...but i cant quite help it...its just me.
the rest later.
JRomy 17 yrs, 6 ,months and 30 days <---------talking abt this down there[1]
*btw readers, if you guys can guess what im counting down to, you get something nice from me at christmas. =] [1]
JEROME signs off
@10:45 AM.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
June 27, 2007
Screwed
hey all, been a tired week. haha.
i've been messing up more than i should...just this morning i missed classed cos i overslept...so bad right...>.<
hahaha....i een one hell of a rollercoaster week for me...had to re-adjust to school.....again.
then first thing this week, i get a retest that my thermo lec. is giving me cos i failed my thermo test...damm sian right?
The rest later.
JRomy Yam 17 Yrs, 6 months and 27 days
JEROME signs off
@8:27 AM.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
June 21, 2007
Messing uphi guys...i just got packed for my camp the next day...haha(paiseh)...anyways...the reason i just finished packing is cos i was ironing my clothes and doing some wierd stuffs...0.0 (sounds wrong don't it?)anyways...to heck with the camp lar...
i made myself feel upset...and i dun even understand why i should be feeling this way...
it sucks! you hear me?!?! it SUCKS!
why did i have to go and say something like that...and even though your reaction is like i expected, why the hell am i still feeling this way when i already agreed that i would stay off to one side?!?!?! that i would not interfere...that i would not get hurt...again
but what the hell happened?!?! i got fucked...this time by no one else but the one and only...Jerome Yam Guang Wen...Demented crazy ass bastard.
ARRGGHH!!!! fuck sia...and besides...wtfh am i feeling this way over a gal anyway? i already decided that i aint going to date or try to get a girlfriend again till im at least 18...and its still one hell of a long time to 18. i loved her...but i still got hurt bad in the end...so just leave me alone...oh my heart...just leave me...i dont want the pain that having u in my chest brings.
so wtfh am i doing this? and most of all...why am i doing this to myself??? dumb shithead.
ah well...at least now i know that im not likely to get her anyway...so i can move on now...and be fucking miserable about myself and the pain in my heart.
ah well...i never really stood a chance with her anyway. there was someone else better in her way...i might have seemed to be an older guy or something to her...but her heart aint with me...its with him...and i do wish her well...at least i know this guy...
he wont let her down...a bit stubborn maybe...but hes a good guy...i just wish i didn't have to feel like this...
to all you readers out there whos now thinking:"what an dumbshit!" or something else that only assholes can think up,
fuck you, fuck you and FUCK YOU!
the rest later.
JRomy 17yrs, 6 months and 21 days
"Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."
The Bible
JEROME signs off
@11:24 AM.
